
because you asked
Bar Mitzvah Cheat Sheet
We are fortunate to have so many friends of family of varied faiths joining us for this special day. The most important thing to remember is that this is a joyous occasion. Just the fact that you are here to share this proud moment with us is enough. But, since some of you have asked, whether this is your first Bar Mitzvah or not, the following is a brief guide that might help you feel more comfortable at the synagogue and enjoy the events as they unfold.
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A bar/bat mitzvah is a coming-of-age ceremony for a Jewish child. “Bar mitzvah” means “son of the commandment” (“Bat” means daughter). At 13, a young Jewish man or woman becomes obligated to observe the commandments of Judaism and is considered a young adult in the eyes of the community. By the way – there are 613 commandments, not 10! Wait, what?!?! You can quiz Joshua on his knowledge of all 613 after the service! The celebration of a bar/bat mitzvah signifies that the young man or woman is beginning and will continue to function as an active and responsible Jew in the synagogue and in the wider Jewish community.
As part of his Bar Mitzvah preparation, Joshua has been hard at work studying. He will help lead the Saturday Shabbat service by reading from the Torah as well as leading some of the prayers. Joshua will also deliver his D’Var Torah (in English), his interpretation and personal connection to the Torah portion he has read (in Hebrew).
The Torah is comprised of the Five Books of Moses (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy) which form the central teaching of Judaism. The Torah is divided into 54 portions (parashot). Each week on Shabbat, the weekly portion is read, studied, and discussed by Jews all over the world. The parashat that Joshua will be discussing is Re’eh.
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You may hear people greeting each other with “Shabbat Shalom” (pronounced Shah-BAHT Shah-LOME), which basically means “Good Sabbath,” or “Peaceful Sabbath.” The proper response is to repeat back, “Shabbat Shalom.” Alternatively, any other normal greeting will work!
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A kippah or head covering (called a yarmulke in Yiddish), is worn during the services as a sign of respect. Traditionally it was only men that wore kippot but now many women wear one as well. Wearing a kippah is not a symbol of religious identification but is rather an act of respect and the sacredness of the worship space. Just as men and women may be asked to remove their hats in the church, or remove their shoes before entering a mosque, wearing a head covering is a non-denominational act of showing respect. Please feel free to take this kippah home with you as a memento of this happy occasion.
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A talit, which you will see some people wearing (worn on the shoulders), is a prayer shawl with 613 knots, worn while praying, as a reminder to follow the 613 commandments found in the Torah. Joshua will wear his new tallit publicly for the first time today, as he becomes Bar Mitzvah. Traditionally, only men wore tallit, today many women also wear one.
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All guests and participants are expected to respect the sanctity of the prayer service and Shabbat by:
Setting your cell phone to vibrate or turning it off.
Not taking pictures.
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We hope you will participate to whatever extent you fee comfortable. Singing and humming are welcome and luckily, we have an amazing cantor who makes us all sound good. You can follow along in the two books provided. See below for more information on that.
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Jewish worship services can be very athletic, filled with frequent directions to stand for certain prayers and sit for others. Take your cue from the other worshippers or the rabbi’s instructions. Unlike kneeling in a Catholic worship service–which is a unique prayer posture filled with religious significance–standing and sitting in a Jewish service does not constitute any affirmation of religious belief, it is merely a sign of respect.
Some congregants will bow at certain parts of the service, and because a bow or prostration is a religiously significant act, feel free to remain standing or sitting as you wish at that point. In addition to standing for certain parts of the service, as led by the Rabbi, the congregation always stands whenever the “Ark,” the place where the Torah is stored, is open.
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Some of the prayers and Torah readings are in Hebrew. However, if you look in your Siddur (prayer book), the Hebrew is accompanied by transliteration (phonetic pronunciation) as well as the English translation so you can follow along with what is being said.
Once the Torah (the big scrolls that are the first five books of the bible) is open, and the Torah reading begins, switch from the Siddur that you got on the way in, to the big, thick book in the holder on the back of the pew in front of you, for the Torah reading. That is also printed in Hebrew and English.
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We would love for you to follow along and this is a good primer of how the service will flow.
non-service questions
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The service generally lasts until about 12 and will be followed by the “Kiddush” luncheon, in the social hall right outside of the sanctuary. We hope you will join us.
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Thank you for helping your son or daughter celebrate with Joshua. The party starts at 6pm and will end at 10:30pm. There is parking right by the entrance to Sportiva.
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A kippah or head covering (called a yarmulke in Yiddish), is worn during the services as a sign of respect. Traditionally it was only men that wore kippot but now many women wear one as well. Wearing a kippah is not a symbol of religious identification but is rather an act of respect and the sacredness of the worship space. Just as men and women may be asked to remove their hats in the church, or remove their shoes before entering a mosque, wearing a head covering is a non-denominational act of showing respect. Please feel free to take this kippah home with you as a memento of this happy occasion.
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Please reach out – we would love to hear from you! Sarah: 917-415-4522, sarahhmunson@icloud.com. David: 650-245-6874, dndoctorow@gmail.com